I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
