There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
