I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
