i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just had sex bonerless
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
