I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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