how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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