: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
