My hand turned me down
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
