A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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