So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize