How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
