What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
