is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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