Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
