All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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