Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
