Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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