i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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