why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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