I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you didnt know i had herpes?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
