fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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