She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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