we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
