Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Randomize
