I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
