Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
