I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
