i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
