I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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