i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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