is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My cat gives me a boner
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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