all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
