White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Vodka?
Forever.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
