that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
