Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
