i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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