I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
