Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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