Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
