I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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