I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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