I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
