plz talk dirty to me
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
me + whiskey = a bad person
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
