Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
My liver just had a heart attack.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
