I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
