So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
