Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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