so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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