One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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