....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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