But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
