I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I would ride that face into the sunset
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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