We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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