yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize