Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Randomize
