if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
