I cannot find my penis.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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