oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
