K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
you made out with another girl for some wings
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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