I must be too annoying 4 u.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
