Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize