Me. At least after what I've been through.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
